Ping Pong Self Defense

on March 5, 2012
Chapter:

When I read the Bug comic for February 29th that mused on how weak a ping pong player’s self defense arsenal is, I immediately thought, “Death could disembowel somebody with a ping pong paddle!”. Realistically, maybe not disembowel, but definitely kill.

The more I thought about this, the more I liked the idea of doing a friendly rebuttal comic to demonstrate how formidable a ping pong paddle and other table tennis equipment would be. And thus, here’s a brief lesson in self defense with ping pong equipment. Although yes, I agree that a golf club would be more useful, as long as you have enough swinging room.

If you haven’t read Adam Huber’s comic that I’m responding to, go to www.bugcomic.com/comics/the-trouble-with-table-tennis/

Also, if you’re into podcasts that talk about geeky things and occasionally impersonate George Lucas, check out the Geeks Of Steel podcast, done by Adam Huber and Matt Forcum(Robot Beach comic)

The year is 2132

As a rebuttal to a recent “Bug” comic by Adam Huber that portrayed ping pong equipment as useless against a home invader, I’m letting an attacker into the home of Kenny and Death to demonstrate how well a ping pong player could actually fend off an attacker.

Attacker: Howdy, folks! I bet you’re no match for my paring knife!

1: Swat his weapon away with the paddle.
It can also be a shield in the meantime.
Kenny: Watch where you deflect that thing!

2: Use the edge of the paddle to hit the following points:
teeth, jugular, solar plexus, and testicles (if applicable).

3: Use a move from the 3 Stooges.

4: insert ping pong balls into attacker’s mouth to silence him.

5: Tiny net makes for a handy restraining device.
Kenny: When did you put barbed wire into the mesh?